Member-only story
Are You Your Friend?
A simple mindset shift can change your life dramatically
Last month, I met with Romero, an old friend. He looked miserable. I heard him patiently, offered support, and promised to keep checking on him. He was appreciative and later told me how my support helped him recover.
A few days back, I was at a rough spot in my life, but instead of being kind, I was critical of myself. I was mad at me. It occurred to me that I was much more kind to Romero than to myself and that got me thinking.
This is not an unusual phenomenon though. Most of us are often very hard on ourselves. We have high expectations of ourselves and when we fail, we get angry at ourselves. We amplify our simple mistakes and start reprimanding. This makes us more alone and afflicted.
But there is a better way.
What if we could be our best friend?
What if we can be a kind, forgiving, and comforting friend to ourselves who accepts our failures without judgment?
What if instead of getting angry, we say, it's okay to screw up, and let’s find out a way out of this situation.
Most of us are not used to treating ourselves with self-compassion. This inner critic may be due to our upbringing or fear of failure.
